Existing in Silence: A Young Queer Cham Man’s Reflection on Identity and Gender Norms

Author Name: Sa Mao

Background: Member of the United Nations Youth Advisory Panel (UNYAP)

I grew up as a young queer man in the Cham Muslim community in Cambodia, where gender roles were clearly defined and rarely questioned. From an early age, I learned how to behave, how to speak, and most importantly, what not to say. My identity did not fit neatly within these expectations. Being queer was never openly discussed; it was something to be hidden, something that existed only in silence. In many ways, silence became a language of survival. I learned to read the room, to adjust my words, and to hide the parts of myself that did not seem to belong.

Living at the intersection of ethnicity, religion, and sexuality shaped how I understood myself. Even when I was not directly confronted, I felt the pressure of social norms that dictated how a “real man” should act. Masculinity was narrow and rigid. Anyone who stepped outside of it risked judgment or exclusion. Over time, I began to silence parts of myself to belong. The fear of disappointing my family and community made me smaller, quieter, and more careful. There were moments when I questioned whether I would ever be able to live openly or whether hiding would always be part of my life.

Everything began to shift in 2023 when I became involved with Asia Young People for Action (AYA) and youth spaces such as UNYAP. For the first time, I experienced an open and inclusive environment where I did not feel judged. These spaces allowed me to speak honestly about my identity and reflect on how social norms had shaped my life. I was not seen as a problem to fix, but as a young person with ideas and leadership potential. Being surrounded by other young people who believed in equality and respect helped me realize that acceptance and support are possible.

Through advocacy activities and discussions on gender equality, I learned that discrimination against queer people is deeply connected to broader systems of gender inequality. I realised that the silence I had lived with was not just personal, it was social. Silence protects harmful norms. Breaking that silence, even in small ways, is an act of courage. The more I learned, the more I understood that change begins when people start questioning the norms that once felt unquestionable.

Being part of these movements helped me grow more confident. I began to understand that my identity is not a weakness, but a strength. Speaking about my experience became a way to challenge harmful social norms and stand against discrimination. I no longer see myself as someone who must hide, but as someone who can contribute to change. Every time I share my story, I hope it opens a door for someone else who may still be living in silence.

My story is only one among many. Across Cambodia, many queer youths, especially from ethnic minority communities, continue to live between fear and invisibility. Creating safe and inclusive spaces is essential for true gender justice. When young people are given the chance to speak, learn, and lead, they become powerful agents of change within their own communities.

To young queer people: Your identity is valid, and your voice matters. Follow your heart and understand your mind. We are here for you. Remember that you are not alone. Some people and communities will stand beside you, celebrate your identity, and support your journey toward living authentically.

About the author: Mao Sa is a member of the Cham Muslim minority from a small village. He is deeply committed to advocating for Muslim youth and promoting Islamic affairs. He currently serves as a Coordinator for the Network of Interethnic Peace Ambassadors (NIPA). He holds a Bachelor’s degree in Tourism from the Royal University of Phnom Penh (RUPP) and has also served as an Advisor for the United Nations Youth Advisory Panel (UNYAP).